5. Prairie Dogs and gravy. The Cornish game hen of the rodent world! These little “butter-ball” rats look like they would make for a great meal. Remove the pelt, snip off the paws and cram their chest cavity with bread stuffing and you would have yourself a great Thanksgiving dinner for two. Never-mind the risk of bubonic plague, all that stuff burns off in the oven (or so I am told).
4. Eagle Eggs over easy. Ever since I watched Nacho Libre I have been craving a giant Eagle egg omelet. Those things are massive! Scrambled, deviled, poached, I can’t imagine that you could cook a bad eagle egg. Nothing says “I’m a patriot” more than serving yourself the symbol of your nation on a plate with biscuits and bacon.
3. Brontosaurus ribs. One of my favorite childhood memories is the title sequence to the old cartoon series The Flintstones and seeing Fred served that massive set of barbecued Brontosaurus ribs. I can only imagine what an incredible meal that was and what other delicious recipes we could create with the rest of the Brontosaurus. True these creatures no longer exist but if they did… my guess is they would make a tasty, tasty, meal for an entire community.
2. Roast Dog. I don’t think dogs would taste very good but after hearing my dogs bark at every passer-by and watching them pee on my carpet I sure would like to see them slowly grilling on my barbecue.
1. Grilled Manatee tenderloin. Seriously… look at those things! They are big and fat and juicy looking. My guess is manatee would taste like a combination of sea-food and steak all at the same time. The ultimate surf and turf. I know, I know… they are cute and lovable but I could feed off of a single manatee for months. Just imagine my refrigerator packed with nicely wrapped manatee chops. I could invite friends over and we could grill huge tender manatee filets on the grill. Why can’t we start farming these things in giant tanks with the sole purpose of eating them when they get big and fat? Sadly I’m fairly convinced that eating manatee is illegal.
And no, I do not advocate actually eating any of these things, that would only land you in jail, but we can dream can’t we? I’d like to hear your ideas about animals, plants, and minerals, that you can’t eat but you wish you could.
Note to self: never blog when hungry.